Archive for category: Guest Post

Contributed by Christy Carmean

When I completed my degree in Education, my training equipped me with classroom management strategies, how to accommodate for different learning styles, as well as many skills for content incorporation.  I practiced minimizing distractions and utilizing technology in the classroom.  I creatively prepared attractive and interactive bulletin boards and taught for many hours with a supervising teacher.  Not one minute of my classroom work or student teaching talked about learning delays that follow an international move, the elevated stress responses due to mobility and lack of routines, and the cultural adjustments that take place in and outside the classroom abroad.  When I started leading at an International School, I quickly discovered that the staff was very competent in their content areas, but we were underprepared to deal with the effects of globe mobility in our classrooms.

Your clinical training prepared you for attachment theory, developmental stages, and evidence-based interventions. It may not have prepared you for the 14-year-old who can’t answer “Where are you from?” or the teen who experiences grief every time they board a plane.

Working with globally mobile families exposes gaps in traditional therapies. The Third Culture Kid sitting across from you on zoom carries developmental complexities your textbooks probably didn’t cover. Complicated identities. Stacked grief from repeated goodbyes. Hidden losses and longing for places they’ll never return to.

Like me, you may recognize that something unique is happening. TCKs aren’t simply “children living abroad.” They’re navigating unique developmental trajectories that don’t fit standard frameworks.

That’s where TCK Training bridges the gaps.  Our TCK-specific research confirms your instinct. TCKs face elevated rates of developmental trauma, identity challenges, and transition-related stress. They are a high-risk population with unique needs. That’s why we created our TCK Training certifications, built on ongoing research of Adult TCKs from over 90 countries. We help to foster alignment between clinical practice and TCK-specific expertise. These certifications and trainings equip you to integrate research-backed TCK frameworks into your therapeutic practice—transforming your effectiveness.

Pathways: Building Comprehensive TCK Care Programs

If you’re building a TCK care program, whether within a practice, school, or organization, Pathways provides the systematic foundation you need. Pathways offers 45+ hours of live instruction, discussion, and practical tools. The 11 units cover the complete TCK care lifecycle including: caregiver self-awareness, organizational roles, supporting parents, age-based interventions, & educational planning. Pathways also includes Debrief Certification training. Pathways is offered twice a year, with cohorts starting each January and September.

Groundwork: Practical Tools for Hands-on work

Groundwork is designed for anyone who is working with TCKs and their families. While this certification dives into topics like communication, parent education, and supporting families through transitions, the focus of Groundwork is on Mental Health and crisis support education. The 8-unit structure combines learning that fits your schedule, student discussion and real-world practicum assignments you can immediately apply. Groundwork includes Youth Mental Health First Aid and Suicide Intervention certifications. Groundwork is offered twice a year, with cohorts starting each January and September.

Debrief Certification: Grief Processing with TCK Families

TCKs often carry unprocessed grief from compound transitions, and they lack language to name what they’ve lost. Debrief Certification trains you to facilitate a structured two-day family debrief that helps the entire family to understand their stories and challenge narratives causing harm. The 15-hour training covers family debriefing (ages 4-18) and the Grief Tower Methodology.  You’ll receive access to all the needed materials, while joining the alumni community of 500+ certified debriefers globally. This course is offered live virtually in August 2026 or as an asynchronous course available anytime.

Unstacking Certification: Processing accumulated grief with teens and adults.

Unstacking Certification allows anyone, professions and laymen, to use the Unstacking Method to help with unprocessed grief (ages 16+). This certification gives you a structured method to walk alongside while gaining a better understanding of grief accumulation, identifying coping patterns, examining internal narratives, and processing relationships affected by unresolved loss. Unstacking Certification is offered live virtually in May 2026 as well as asynchronously at any time.

Counseling TCKs Therapist Training: For licensed therapists and counselors treating globally mobile populations.

Traditional clinical training doesn’t account for cross-cultural issues. Counseling TCKs Therapist Training bridges that gap, integrating TCK-specific research with your existing therapeutic practice. This training is self-directed and covers TCK-informed intake forms, common TCK Diagnoses and misdiagnoses, and therapeutic interventions.

Close the Gap in Your Practice

You’re already seeing these clients. The Adult TCK struggling with chronic restlessness. The expat teenager who shuts down when asked about identity. The parent raising kids in a culture different from their own, wondering if they’re causing harm. Your clinical training gave you frameworks—but those frameworks weren’t built for developmental trajectories shaped by multiple transitions, cultural identity issues, and accumulated unprocessed grief.

TCK Training certifications close that gap. The question isn’t whether your clients need TCK-informed care—you already know they do. The question is whether you’ll equip yourself to provide it. Explore certifications at tcktraining.com. Check upcoming cohort dates. Apply for scholarships if cost is a barrier. Join the community of clinicians transforming outcomes for globally mobile families.

Better information leads to better clinical decisions. Better clinical decisions lead to lasting client outcomes. Your next TCK client deserves a therapist who understands their story.

Author: Christy Carmean

Christy Carmean has a background in education and spent 11 years living in Cameroon, Africa. After many years as the director of an Elementary School for expat kids, Christy now works at TCK Training, overseeing Certification Courses and helping expat parents raise thriving kids abroad. Christy is Pathways Graduate and the mom of 3 TCKs.

Contributed by Chantelle Torres

Living a life that spans multiple cultures is both a privilege and a challenge. Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and expatriates often find themselves navigating unique landscapes of identity, belonging, and adaptability. This article delves into these experiences, offering insights and guidance for individuals walking similar paths.

Understanding the TCK Experience

Third Culture Kids grow up in environments different from their parents’ culture, blending elements of their home culture, host culture, and something entirely their own. This amalgamation often shapes a dynamic identity but can also lead to feelings of rootlessness. TCKs might ask questions like, “Where is home?” or “Where do I belong?” These experiences foster adaptability, cultural awareness, and resilience—skills that are increasingly valued in today’s globalized world.

However, these strengths often come with challenges. TCKs can struggle with maintaining relationships, dealing with constant goodbyes, and facing the unique hurdles of repatriation. Addressing these issues requires a supportive network and strategies to embrace change while celebrating the richness of their multicultural backgrounds.

Challenges and Rewards of Expatriate Life

For expatriates, moving to a new country can feel like starting over. While exciting, it also means adjusting to different customs, languages, and social norms. Establishing a new life abroad takes courage and adaptability, as well as the ability to navigate the ups and downs of culture shock.

The rewards of expatriate life are immense. Immersion in a new culture broadens perspectives and fosters personal growth. It’s a journey of discovery that enriches not only the expatriate but also their families, friends, and colleagues. For expecting mothers, expatriate life adds another layer of complexity and opportunity. Navigating motherhood in a foreign country often means learning to parent across cultural lines while ensuring children feel connected to their roots. Expatriate mothers often act as bridges between cultures, fostering understanding and creating a sense of home in unfamiliar surroundings.

The Importance of Community

Whether TCKs or expatriates, individuals in these groups find community to be vital. Building meaningful relationships can help ease transitions and create a sense of belonging. Here are some ways to foster connection:

1. Join Local Groups: Participate in clubs, volunteer organizations, or social events in the area.
2. Stay Connected Online: Engage with global TCK and expatriate communities through forums, social media, or virtual events.
3. Celebrate Diversity: Share unique backgrounds with others while learning about theirs.

Professional Insights from the Field

Professionals working with TCKs and expatriates often focus on supporting them as they navigate the complexities of their journeys. These efforts include helping individuals adapt to new environments, address feelings of isolation, and harness the strengths of their diverse experiences.

For instance, guiding TCKs through the repatriation process involves helping them integrate their global experiences into their “home” culture. Similarly, expatriates benefit from tailored strategies to overcome cultural barriers and thrive in their new environments.

Embracing the Journey

The journey of a TCK or expatriate is one of continuous learning and growth. It’s about finding harmony between different cultural influences and embracing the opportunities that come with a global lifestyle. While challenges are inevitable, they can be overcome with resilience, curiosity, and a supportive community.

This exploration of TCK and expatriate life highlights the importance of sharing experiences. Each story contributes to a broader understanding and builds connections within a vibrant global community.

Author: Chantelle Torres

Chantelle Torres is an Outreach Specialist at PK Women’s Clinic, where she works to engage and connect with communities in support of women’s health and wellness. With a strong focus on communication and outreach, Chantelle is dedicated to raising awareness and fostering partnerships to improve access to essential healthcare services. When not working, she enjoys exploring new trends in health and wellness and is passionate about supporting initiatives that empower women in their personal and professional lives.

Contributed by Deborah Valentine, Program Director FIGT

There are many challenges and phases in the world of globally mobile individuals and families. A wealth of resources exist in the world and Families in Global Transition (FIGT) is but one of the many communities worldwide offering and providing support. FIGT has been doing so since 1997. It has evolved since its start with Ruth van Reken discussing Third Culture Kids and the book she had written with sociologist David Pollock, Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds – which itself evolved over time, and is now in its third edition.

The discussions around this globally mobile life have also evolved. The community has expanded and continues to expand. FIGT is delighted to continue to be a part of this evolving ‘world’. – as it hopes to show, and share during its upcoming Forum, entitled “Momentum: Moving forward together”, online, on 20 and 21 April 2024.

A gathering of people, ideas and the community

Covid has influenced all our lives, and what was once an annual in-person three day gathering has become an online event over two days. The online format provides an opportunity for more people to participate from anywhere in the world. The additional ‘community’ space, for attendees to gather, meet, laugh, exchange ideas and continue conversations is also a part of our annual event in the form of Kumospace.

While we may miss gathering in person, technology has given us chances to explore this change as well. Feedback from past event attendees on Kumospace was extremely positive. Given the importance of community and connection, FIGT would not have considered planning an event without a ‘community’ space. If you’re not familiar with Kumospace, then take a moment to listen to a short presentation recently done by one of our members – on FIGT’s Forum rooms in Kumospace or read some of the testimonials from past Conference attendees.

Session topics and speakers

Our keynote speaker is Dr Hossein Hassani, a highly accomplished and skilled data scientist, academic, and researcher with over 15 years of extensive experience working with national, international, and multicultural organizations, research institutes, and academia. Dr Hassani will take us on a journey to explore the fascinating — and sometimes unsettling — world of Artificial Intelligence. This fast developing field may not seem to be directly relevant to our ‘globally mobile’ community per se, but it is and it will continue to impact our lives.

As well as Dr Hassani, the #FIGT2024 Forum will feature:

• a speaker talking about unplanned transitions — preparing for and living through mobility changes without the preparation that so many of us make when moving from one place to another;
• a speaker who will share tips for handling trauma in our lives and in the lives of those around us, helping us reach feelings of safety;
• a panel discussing challenges for people who move without their families and how we can best support them;
• a presentation on the value of advocating for neurodivergent children and children with special needs at international schools;
• a session about the challenges faced by migrating families — proving an increased need for improved understanding of different cultures and countries, and;
• a session that focuses on the strengths and skills associated with a globally mobile life.

A brief description of each of these Sessions can be found here, with an overview of our speakers and their experience and backgrounds, here.

Join us!

The Forum will take place over a two-day period – scheduled to accommodate different time-zones as best we can, but for those who may have difficulties attending the sessions live a recording of each presentation will be made available to registered attendees for 6 months following the event. Early BIrd (US$ 90) Registration is now open, but closes on 6 April 2024, when the full-rate (US$104) will be applied.

Contributed by Lauren Wells

There’s a conversation that seems to keep repeating; a training that has been continually requested in the past couple of years. It’s on a topic that we recognize is a growing global challenge, but in our Third Culture Kid community seems to be even more weighty. 

Anxiety. 

As practitioners, we know how anxiety presents and often how to treat it. However, at TCK Training we’ve found underlying causes that are more unique to the TCK community. We believe understanding those causes can help implement an effective treatment plan. At the very least, it can help the TCKs we’re serving to have language for and understanding of the anxiety they’re facing. 

We’re not entirely surprised by the growing rates of anxiety in TCKs. Our 2021 research study on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) in the TCK population surveyed 1,904 Adult TCKs. In that data set, we found 21% of ATCKs had high ACE scores (four or more out of ten). That’s in contrast to 12.5% of the American control group (a CDC Kaiser study). For highly mobile TCKs who moved locations more than 10 times, the number increased to 32%.

Higher ACE scores are associated with higher rates of mental illness. It was found that “…an ACE score of four or greater was associated with 7.3 higher odds of anxiety or depression compared to those with less than four ACEs.” (Elmore AL, Crouch E.)

So the fact that TCKs experience higher rates of anxiety is not a surprise, but why might this be the case? What about those high ACE scores and the TCK life might lead to the symptoms of anxiety? 

We’ve noticed three trends. 

1. Settling feels unfamiliar and thus breeds anxiety. We’ve found that TCK anxiety tends to increase when their highly mobile life is halted and they are in one place, with the same people for a longer period of time. This may make it difficult for a practitioner to find a source of anxiety because it might appear that everything is finally settling down in the TCK’s life. There may be more predictability, consistent relationships, opportunity to maintain hobbies, etc. However, for TCKs who have been highly mobile (either they relocated often or the people around them constantly came and went) it is that stable feeling that feels so uncomfortable and that uncomfort can present in feelings of anxiety. The adrenaline that they frequently experienced from huge life upheavals feels familiar, even if they express that they despised the constant change. Their body is used to it and their body responds when the familiarity of upheaval is gone. The COVID pandemic also made this settledness a forced experience for many TCKs and their families and that brought in additional emotions because it was unexpected, laced in fear, and often filled with many unknowns. 

2. Close, long-term relationships. Even if the TCK you’re working with didn’t relocate frequently, it’s likely that there was a revolving door of people coming in and out of their life because of the transient nature of the expatriate community. This means that TCKs become experts at the first stage of a relationship. They’re often very good at getting to know people and are experts at navigating the getting-to-know you phase. Because of this rhythm, they get used to short-term relationships being the norm and with every new relationship a mental alarm clock begins to tick. When the relationship begins to have longevity, anxiety often surfaces. Sometimes, this anxiety leads them to subconsciously sabotage the relationship. Other times, they’ve come to you because of anxiety and haven’t been able to pinpoint a cause. If they’ve had longer term friends, or have been in a romantic relationship longer than past relationships have typically lasted, that could be an underlying source of anxiety. 

3. A tall Grief Tower. I’ve written about the compounding nature of TCK grief in my books The Grief Tower and Unstacking Your Grief Tower. We see that TCKs who don’t “unstack” losses and traumatic experiences along the way through processing, often come to a point when they begin to experience symptoms of a tall or crashed Grief Tower. This most often presents as Complex PTSD. They may not have any major big “T” traumas in their life, but instead have a constant stream of losses and grief-inducing experiences that have stacked up. One of the body’s responses to this is often anxiety. In the two books mentioned, I walk through the methodology of creating a Grief Tower Timeline. Many practitioners have found that process to be a very effective way to reduce the symptoms of unprocessed grief, including anxiety. 

How you treat TCK anxiety may not differ significantly from how you would treat non-TCK’s anxiety, but we’ve found that it can be soothing and normalizing for TCKs to have a better understanding of how their unique life could be connected to how their body is emoting. Most importantly, they need to hear that the cause of their anxiety is not their fault AND the management of it is their responsibility. It is unhelpful to look at the TCK life, blame it as the source of anxiety, and stay stuck in the anxiety. But it can be so healing to help your TCK client understand their anxiety, come to terms with how their upbringing may have impacted them, and learn tools for how to live into the wonderful parts of their TCK upbring while managing anxiety in healthy ways. 

Resources: 

Elmore AL, Crouch E. The Association of Adverse Childhood Experiences With Anxiety and Depression for Children and Youth, 8 to 17 Years of Age. Acad Pediatr. 2020 Jul;20(5):600-608. doi: 10.1016/j.acap.2020.02.012. Epub 2020 Feb 22. PMID: 32092442; PMCID: PMC7340577.

Recorded Workshops: 

TCKs and Anxiety

Understanding Your Anxiety as an Adult TCK

Our Counseling TCKs Therapist Training is offered online each spring and fall and is eligible for 6 NBCC CEUs. 

Author: Lauren Wells

Lauren Wells is the founder and CEO of TCK Training and author of Raising Up a Generation of Healthy Third Culture Kids, The Grief Tower, and Unstacking Your Grief Tower. She is an Adult TCK/MK who spent her teenage years in Tanzania, East Africa. She sits on the board of the TCK Care Accreditation as Vice Chair and is part of the TCK Training Research Team focusing on preventive care research in the TCK population. She lives in Georgia, USA with her husband and two daughters. 

If there is anything the past year has shown us, it is that culturally competent therapists are needed more than ever. A global pandemic, bruising political elections, a social justice reckoning and uncertain economic landscape have brought us here and made it clearer than ever.

Contributed by Myra Dumapias, MSW

Discovering my third culture kid identity as an adult has been like a predestined romance waiting to happen before I had the language for it. Yet throughout this love affair, realized in the process of claiming a tribe, I’ve noticed a missing piece: acknowledgement about privilege variances as a tribe.

The intense feeling of being different without a language to internally process it or externally name or explain it has impacted me significantly. I felt like a misfit whenever I attended a school without other third culture kids (TCKs). The consciousness of knowing I was different grew more distinct after I left the international school system: in college, I told a roommate that moving around so much as a kid influenced who I was romantically compatible with, but couldn’t explain why. The longer I was away from my TCK-filled past, the more I felt an isolation I didn’t know how to talk about. I felt like I found myself in an abandoned city with signs of fresh activity but no one there to talk to  (as described in Where Everybody Is: TCKs and the Twilight Zone).

The answers didn’t come until my 30’s, when a colleague called me a “third culture kid”, which led me to TCKid.com. The words “third culture kid” were keys that opened new doors for me, most importantly of understanding. As I illustrated in “the significance of words” (page 4 of “Refusing to Be Erased”), discovering the term that explained my experiences and that I was not alone validated that it was an identity I was experiencing and not an abnormality I had to fix.

More personally, the career dream I wrote about in my college applications was to help people who grew up moving around like me. I knew there was a need before I knew there was a language for it. In 2011, within six months after I discovered the term, TCKid, an online community forum created by Brice Royer, became a bridge to that dream when he passed onto me the online community three years after he created the forum. I formalized it as a 501(c)3 non-profit organization. Today, the organization, which now goes by TCKidNOW, has continued helping more TCKs connect and expanding its global reach, and provides trauma-informed educational outreach as part of community care services under development. 

TCKidNOW addresses the question after the initial discovery of the TCK identity: “Now, what?”- the space where intersectionality and privilege are relevant. There have been great discussions around the common TCK experiences, ie. finding home, being a hidden immigrant, etc., but as a tribe, we tend to go back to our individual identity compartments when it comes to aging, sudden disability, racism, economic struggle, etc. Yet our global nomad background can have as much relevancy on these matters as it does on “Where is home?” TCKidNOW recognizes being an adult TCK intersects with other identities, ie. race, gender, class, aging, passport country, citizenship status, etc. TCKidNow designs its services mindful of how the intersection of identities ties into varying levels of access to resources, or privilege.

Privilege – the uncomfortable but necessary conversation:

Privilege can be an uncomfortable topic that can easily cause a little tension or division, but it doesn’t have to.  In expat communities, we do not all usually enjoy the same luxuries, such as paid private school tuition, luxury cars or rich neighborhoods. It’s part of what expats sign-up for. The differences in privilege themselves aren’t a cause for tension. What can be is when a majority of resources, events, accolades, and standards and recognitions of admirable accomplishments and leadership do not acknowledge or include a true diversity of TCKs by the time we’re all adults, such as:

• individuals from developed as well as developing countries,
• people who with working or lower income class experiences as well as those from consistently upper middle class or higher background,
• people of color from all over the world as well as the universally perceived face of the Western World,
• community-focused work under leadership that has an understanding of the multiple intersections of struggle and marginalization, as well as the cosmopolitan entrepreneur who symbolizes a successful jet-setter lifestyle, and
• individuals who identify fluidly across these spectrums.

Clarifications on increasing access:

Setting a price for services, having a successful small business, or recognizing a person’s accomplishments aren’t, of course, negative. What would be negative is if we in the field of TCK work don’t collectively work together to widen access to resources, recognition and inclusion. Individuals with experiences from less privileged backgrounds in roles with program and research design decisions and leadership can open new windows of insight.

The professional practice that validates our approach:

Social Work is guided by the core values of: service, social justice, dignity and worth of the person, importance of human relationships, integrity and competence (https://www.socialworkers.org/about/ethics/code-of-ethics/code-of-ethics-english). TCKidNOW follows these core values along with the systems theory, which explains human behavior as influenced by multiple subsystems, ie. an individual’s school, family, economic class, cultural identity, friendships, etc., that operate interrelatedly within a larger system. Addressing an individual’s problem would then require looking at how the various subsystems are affecting each other as well as the individual directly.

How you can help – the TCKidNOW Community Mental Health Network:

Informed by my less than economically-privileged seasons in my life and stories from other TCKs about limitations in accessing resources, I conducted a survey designed to measure certain privileges. The results of this first community needs survey confirmed class variances within the TCK population, usually thought to be mostly upper middle or upper class. The below  infographic shows some findings and an overview of the TCKid Community Mental Health Network, which aims to gather TCK/cross-cultural focused mental health service providers willing to charge sliding-scale fees according to income/cost-of-living context for TCKs who cannot afford standard rates. Please consider joining the network. We are also seeking donors and businesses interested in sponsoring this program who would like exposure on our TCK and Cross-Cultural Kid social media platforms. Please see more details/register here- https://forms.gle/S9Jc5C9tjVvp7Jf89

In closing, I want to say that I am so grateful to see how far we’ve come as a tribe since the days when TCKs were still not considered a “valid population”. We all as a tribe did this! The International Therapist Directory has played a major role in healing and I hope that this network will provide an avenue for us all to worker together to spread even more love!

Author: Myra Dumapias, MSW

Myra Dumapias, MSW, (BA English and World Literature) is the CEO of TCKidNOW – please follow them on Facebook or Instagram.  Myra is a 2^nd generation TCK, daughter of a 2^nd generation career diplomat, and mother of a domestic and international TCK and is a social entrepreneur, writer, photographer, film geek and volunteer first responder. She grew up in in China, Malaysia, Ohio, Indiana, Manila, Germany and Romania and during college years, in South Korea. As an adult, she also lived in Bahrain.

Contributed by Katarina Gaborova, MSc

It was a lovely Dutch morning, as I was driving my older daughter to school, who was 7 at the time. On the way there, we were singing and laughing in the car at some of my “lost in translation stories” related to expat life. I dropped my girl off, wiping off some milk crust from her breakfast residue as I was kissing her on her soft cheeks.

Then continued driving to my practice. I picked her up, later that afternoon. “ So what was the best experience of your day-today?” I asked, my usual question that I adopted from positive psychology. My daughter looked at me, suddenly bursting into tears, telling me that it was the WORST DAY OF HER LIFE. We sat down and chatted about her day, and broke her day into different much smaller parts. When I realized that her day went actually great up until about 10 minutes before I went to pick her up. That was a point when she ended up having an argument with her best friend (a classical cognitive distortion).

Shifting Attitudes

How had she gone from a positive morning experience to such a negative outlook? Well, as therapists we know that we have been given this evolutionary capacity to emphasize the negative rather than the positive (known as negativity bias). It is our inborn critical survival skill to be aware of and to avoid danger. Did you know for example that negative experiences or the fear of them has a greater impact on us compared to positive ones? Or that our attitudes are more heavily influenced by negative news as opposed to the positive? According to a prospect theory (Kahneman & Tversky), we even tend to make choices mostly based on avoiding losses rather than focusing on all the wonderful gains.

Well, coming back to my story, as I was sitting there with my daughter, it suddenly hit me and I got an idea of creating a deck of cards and a book for my daughter where I could show her these tricks that our mind plays on us. More importantly, I could show her some remedies how we can play back by turning the awareness of our own thoughts and feelings into our own benefits. I also thought of how useful it would be if other children, or adults could use these tools as an extra support with whatever they would be going through.

We human beings, can certainly train our mind to consciously start noticing and focusing on the positives in our environment. This is of course not to make someone naively look at the world through pink glasses, but rather sticking to the facts at hand. Not letting our bias opinions create a cloudy view. It takes practice and effort but the result is surely worth it. I do not need to even point out what benefits it brings to our resilience, mood, immune system or relationships within our environment.

So, that is how our See Bee Tee journey started. I met a great artist from Romania Roxana Macovei, who beautifully painted each card by hand for the memory card deck. We researched how to make them interesting, colourful and full of fun (See a couple of examples below).

I was also cooperating with a Slovanian visual artist and a pedagogue Nataša Gruden Pižmoht who illustrated the book (See below).

And then my dear colleague, Ekaterina Evdokimova of PsyCompass, a child psychologist and Expat herself, currently working and living in the Netherlands, tested the tools in her practice when working with Expat children and their families. This is what she wrote about the book & cards as she reviewed them:

“In this interactive tool for children, their parents and professionals, Katarina (psychologist, www.katarinagaborova.com) manages to bring together the essence of two widely-known approaches to therapy: cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. The book gives a very clear indication of how the negative thought patterns work, and presents the reader simple exercises to ensure that positive thinking becomes their natural reaction to destructive thoughts and unfortunate events.

The tool has two parts: the book “See Bee Tee” and a memory game card deck with the same title. Both are based on the story of a bee called Tee who was temporarily unable to fly. The story tells how she manages to overcome despair and sadness, and even benefits from the situation with the help of her friend, a wasp called Kevin. The story demonstrates in clear, rhythmic language how Tee’s thoughts developed, how they changed while she was talking to her friend, how new hope arose, and how she ultimately found a way to enjoy the time and new opportunities while she was unable to fly. The story provides a clear model for children and equips them with practical tools to help them deal with their own difficulties. Children also learn how to be less dependent on other people’s opinions and how to be kind to themselves and to others.

At the end of the book and in the instructions to the memory game, there are manuals for parents. The guide is written in clear language and leaves no doubt about how valuable positive thinking is when it comes to dealing with the past, overcoming difficulties in the present or going through desperate times of loss and grief. The manual is rich in information which is useful to both children and their parents. Both the book and the card game have well-balanced combinations of text and illustrations. The colours also correlate with the story and reflect the feelings the characters are experiencing.

The book and the card game can be used by professionals such as psychologists, teachers and care-givers who work with children suffering from anxiety, fear, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as children with special needs and children dealing with the challenges of an international move. Playing with the memory cards, reading the story or colouring the pages of the book can be used by professionals to discuss with children various events in their lives, the effects of certain ways of thinking and possible coping mechanisms. Information presented through play is easier received by children and repetition of the same message ensures that it is instilled in children’s ideas and behaviour. Children also learn other skills: appreciate the smaller things in life, value and maintain friendships, talk about their feelings, focus on the present, and have the courage to step out of their comfort zone.

As a child psychologist I already started using the tools in my practice working with children who have difficulties with self-esteem or who have challenges with emotional recognition.

See Bee Tee is a valuable resource in any practitioner’s toolkit.”

Today my daughter is already 10 years old. Of course that she is still going through her natural ups and downs which are an inevitable part of any cycle of life. However, since then I honestly have not heard her labelling her days as the WORST IN HER LIFE :).

Sending you all warm greetings from Netherlands.

Author Katarina Gaborova, MSc

Katarina Gaborova was born and raised in Slovakia. She studied psychology & psychophysiology in Australia. Currently she works in her practice in the Netherlands. Where she is a licensed psychologist and NLP (neuro-linguistic programing) life coach and member of the ACCESS Counselling Service Network. Her specialties include positive psychology, integration challenges, stress management and more. She is a published author of V!VA Tools for well-being and See Bee Tee products. You can find out more on www.psychologistinthehague.com ; www.katarinagaborova.com.

Contributed by Ava Senaratne of TCK Town, Multicultural Stories from Around the Globe

I’ve had this conversation with a few times with some friends already (and you might have too): not one country really does mental health “well”. From what I’ve seen through my journey as a TCK, we still haven’t cracked the code.

In Tokyo, the record is abysmal for healthy working practices. On the way to work on rainy days, it became second nature to leave earlier than usual because desperate salary men and women threw themselves in front of trains when the weather turned grey. And don’t even get me started on how harmful gender stereotypes are over there. From what I’ve experienced from the older members of my family who grew up in Sri Lanka, there really hasn’t been much awareness at all about good mental health practices to pass down to our generation (my grandfather’s favourite phrase, unfortunately, is “steel your mind!!”). In Melbourne, although there is some relief (my friends, colleagues and I can openly talk about issues regarding anxiety, depression and seeing our therapists), it’s not good enough yet. I am still haunted by our ridiculous “vote for gay marriage” questionnaire that would have shattered the mental health of many who have already struggled for years under the many burdens that come with LGBTQ+ identities.

Despite the downfalls and disappointments, I have learned. One of the invaluable traits of being a TCK is my ability to sort through the chaff and store away the golden pieces of wisdom I’ve found. I’ve developed the skill of adopting ways of thinking that suit me best without being prejudiced by where those ideas came from.

Here’s my TCK collection of good mental health practices that I hope serves you as well as they have served me:

MELBOURNE:

When you’re not okay, and someone asks, “How are you?”, tell the truth. I’ve made a big effort to commit to this over the last two years and have found that the people around me have been receptive and supportive every single time I haven’t answered with, “Fine! You?”

If you’ve been feeling lethargic and unmotivated for more than a week or so, check in with your GP, and see if you need to get on a mental health plan. In the same way you can’t fix a broken leg on your own, you need the support of a therapist when something doesn’t feel right. Motivational internal dialogue and ‘sucking it up’ can patch the problem up but it won’t fix it. In the same way that letting that leg ‘heal on its own’ instead of putting it in a cast could have you limping for the rest of your life, not addressing the state of your mental health now will have repercussions later, and how you’re feeling is not just going to ‘go away with time’.

Ask your friends for help. It can be for big things like, “Can you help me pack before I move?” Or, “Can you check in on me over the next few days? Need a bit of support.” It’s embarrassing, but if you have good people in your life, it will never go astray. (If you’re not sure if you have good people in your life, this is a great way to get rid of the crap ones!)

Show up. Is your friend upset and stressed out about law exams? Is someone you know having a hard time with their family? Make them dinner, ring their door bell, drop the food off and say you wanted to do something to help them out through this difficult time. Or catch up for a 20 minute coffee in the morning before work. Calls and texts in this time of connectivity are awesome but in my experience, it can mean we take the necessity of intimate and genuine connection for granted.

TOKYO (BUT MOSTLY QUEER EYE):

Grooming is not a form of vanity, it’s a form of self care. While you don’t have to put on a full face of makeup or wear a suit before you head to work, make time for applying nourishing oil on your skin after your morning shower, or a bit of wax in your hair to elevate your look. It will make a difference to how you start your day.

TOKYO:

Get away from the city whenever you can. I’m not a hiker and I don’t drive so trekking through mountains or cross-country road trips were never an option. I’d visit temples with dense foliage to block out the busyness of Tokyo, or huge gardens like Shinjuku Gyoen, where you can only see the tops of neighbouring buildings. New environments will help you gain new perspectives, especially if something has been worrying you for a while.

Food is nourishment. Whether it’s nourishing your soul (put your take-out on a nice plate, grab you cutlery and pour yourself a glass of wine next time you order dinner) or your body (make the effort to add one serving of something healthy to each meal), showing up for yourself in small ways reinforces that you are worthy of love and nurturing. As lovely as some humans can be, we are still not very good at practicing these sorts of kindnesses for ourselves, which in turn affects the way we treat others. Start small, and it will eventually spill over into other areas of your life.

SRI LANKA & MELBOURNE:

If you only take one thing away from this article, try and make it this: Practice mindfulness. No, that doesn’t mean sitting in the lotus position and humming in your bedroom. On the way to work, when you’re getting dressed, when you’re flicking through Instagram, check in with yourself. The digital communication era has given us a million ways to numb ourselves to what’s going on internally, and I think many of us have subscribed to more of it than we think. Here’s an easy way to start:

How am I feeling physically? – “My feet are cold on the bathroom floor. My hands are wet and my lips are tingling from the toothpaste. The back of my shoulder blades are a little tense.”
Look at your physical experience in more detail – “I think my shoulder blades are tense because I’m a bit stressed out.”

Look again – “Why am I stressed out while I’m brushing my teeth?! Oh, because of the presentation I have to do at lunch.”

Look again – “I’m uncomfortable because I misinterpreted the brief yesterday and I don’t want to be on the wrong track with this preso again today. That would be really embarrassing.”

Sit with how you feel for a bit and don’t try to ‘resolve’ it – “Yup, it makes sense that I’m nervous. I’ve only been working here six months. And I tend to be pretty hard on myself when I mess up.”

I find that bringing the subconscious into the conscious and then practicing acceptance about how I’m feeling (instead of “don’t worry, it will be fine!”, which is a great way to negate your experience) often acts like a release. I’ve acknowledged what’s wrong and that means my body and mind are not internalizing the stress. It’s out in the open so that I can get on with my day instead of holding all of it in. With practice, you’ll get much faster at it and be able to work through this train of thought anywhere.

What small (and big) mental health practices have you learned from your countries? Comment below. I’d love to learn more and add to my collection!

[Note: This piece has been re-posted from TCK Town with permission from the author. Comments are open on the original post.]

Author: Ava Senaratne of TCK Town, Multicultural Stories from Around the Globe

Ava Senaratne is the Editor-In-Chief of tcktown.com, a journal which celebrates cross-culturalism with raw and real stories from around the world. Ava is from Australia, was born in Sri Lanka, grew up in the Middle East and has lived in Tokyo too. Her many homes have made her a passionate advocate for diversity and connection, values she tries to live everyday.